Office 'Spy' Software

[Don McLeod]

The latest from microsoft - should be good for stirring up the hornet's nest!

The Times has seen a patent application filed by the company for a computer system that links workers to their computers via wireless sensors that measure their metabolism. The system would allow managers to monitor employees’ performance by measuring their heart rate, body temperature, movement, facial expression and blood pressure. Unions said they fear that employees could be dismissed on the basis of a computer’s assessment of their physiological state.

Microsoft seeks patent for office 'spy' software

Funny comments in the Have Your Say section:

"It detects the junior doctor who has just completed 70 hours, is too tired to perform an essential operation, didn't we already know that ?"

or

"This would not work in the Civil Service. Rather the IT department would be inundated with false alarms of deceased operators given the sloth-like metabolic rates displayed by most of the shinybums."

[Vin DSL]

Heh!

They'll need 'Spry' Software to measure my physiological state ...

[Frank Broughton]

Heh!

They'll need 'Spry' Software to measure my physiological state ...

No doubts abouts it!

[thecoalman]

I foresee a return of a new and improved "Clippy"....

"It looks like your stressed, do you want to:

a.Get a backrub.

b.Just keep on working.

c. smash the f**** computer with a sledgehammer"

[Vin DSL]

I foresee a return of a new and improved "Clippy"....

Or, THX 1138...

PRAYER BOOTH

THX sits in a small cube which features a desk facing a large photograph
of the prophet OMM. The image is similar to a renaissance painting of
Jesus.

VOICE
My time is yours, go ahead.

THX mumbles a short prayer; which is cut short by the recorded
voice.

VOICE
Very good, proceed.

THX is uneasy, and fumbles for the right words.

THX
Well.... I slipped on a T5 transfer
this morning. It's never happened before.
I wasn't concentrating enough. Things
haven't been.....

VOICE
Yes.

THX
....going well. How could I be so
wrong. (pause) SCO 1202 cross
wired a 904. He's been receiving
extra credit. He offered me some.
But you must already know about
that....Why do I bother you with
such.....

VOICE
Yes

THX
I did not accept any. (pause) I...
I wanted... to. But I didn't.
You know I didn't. Don't you?

There is a pause as THX waits for an answer.

VOICE
Yes.

THX
My mate has been acting very strange.
I can't explain it.....but. I haven't
been feeling very well myself. I
don't know, maybe it's me. I needed
an SP9 last night. I feel as if
something odd were happening to me.
Something....

VOICE
Yes.

THX
I can't understand. The sedatives....

THX pauses, and trys to think of what he wants to say.

THX
....I'm taking SP5, but it doesn't seem
strong enough. I have a hard time
concentrating. Please forgive me, I
slipped on....

VOICE
You are a true believer. Blessings of
the state, blessings of the masses. Thou
art a subject of the divine. Created in
the image of man, by the masses, for the
masses. Let us be thankful we have an
occupation to fill. Work hard; increase
production; prevent accidents, and be
happy.

THX slumps, exhausted by the effort of communicating with OMM.